Perfectionism in Perspective: Latter-day Saints’ Unique Outlook

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This story appears here courtesy of TheChurchNews.com. It is not for use by other media.

By Aimee Cobabe, Church News

Editor’s note: This is part one of a four-part series on recent research related to toxic perfectionism.

Do members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints experience perfectionism at higher rates than others? That’s one question Justin Dyer, a professor of religious education at BYU, realized has not previously been studied.

Dyer and colleagues set out to see if there were any answers to this question using a study on the mental health of Latter-day Saint youth. The six-year study involved over 2,000 teens and young adults (about half Latter-day Saint, half not).

Professors and mental health professionals wrote about their findings and the impacts of toxic perfectionism in the December issue of BYU Studies.

Dyer said he was surprised when the research revealed that Latter-day Saints are less likely — not more — to experience unhealthy levels of perfectionism compared with other groups.

They found that 12% of Latter-day Saints surveyed experience high toxic perfectionism. That was similar in other religions at 11-13%. But 20% of atheists/agnostics and 27% of former Latter-day Saints were high in high toxic perfectionism.

“So what we find ... is that those who are affiliated with religion, those who believe in God, tend to have lower levels of toxic perfectionism,” Dyer said.

The Difference Between Healthy and Toxic Perfectionism

Dyer explained that a healthy perfectionist sets high goals, but when they don’t meet those goals, they’re disappointed yet able to adjust and move on.

On the other hand, Dyer defined toxic perfectionism as “thinking that your worth is tied to your success and that failure means [you’re] of less worth.”

So, it makes sense, according to Dyer that a person receiving messages that they are of infinite worth — that God loves them perfectly — would be less likely to experience toxic perfectionism.

Dyer points to President Russell M. Nelson’s focus on understanding “the truth about who you are.”

In a Worldwide Young Adult Devotional in May 2022, President Nelson said that first and foremost, each of them is a child of God. Second, as a member of the Church, they are a child of the covenant. And third, they are a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Said Dyer: “When we have those identities, it keeps us from descending into ‘I failed, therefore I’m unlovable and of no worth.’”

Perfectionism and Religion

Dyer said they also found that those struggling with high perfectionism may experience declining religiosity and weakened spiritual connections — 6.2% of low toxic perfectionist youth left their religion, while 21.5% of high toxic perfectionist youth left their religion.

“Perfectionism does definitely interrupt your ability to connect with religion, to connect with God,” Dyer said.

However, Dyer notes that leaving one’s religion appeared to do little to ameliorate feelings of toxic perfectionism.

As he’s studied perfectionism, and mental health in general, Dyer said he’s learned that toxic perfectionism seems to be a condition of mortality that can manifest itself in various aspects of one’s life.

“Yes, people can be judgey at church; yes, people can give messages at church that would enhance toxic perfectionism,” Dyer said. “But we also need to realize that this is part of a human process.”

Antidotes to Perfectionism

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While understanding the theology — that one is loved by Heavenly Father and has a divine purpose — is helpful for overcoming high toxic perfectionism, a person may also benefit from the help of mental health professionals.

“Most people will experience some low level of toxic perfectionism that will make us sad in our lives,” Dyer said. He notes that some people with certain mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder may experience high toxic perfectionism as a symptom of the condition, while others may not be processing information correctly, called cognitive distortions.

Still, Dyer is clear in his introduction to the December issue BYU Studies Quarterly that Latter-day Saints can find hope as they work to reduce toxic perfectionism and find healing and healthy ideas about perfectionism through Christ.

Dyer wrote: “Toxic perfectionism says, falsely, that God’s love and our worth are earned and that the price we must pay is complete perfection. This price, of course, is one we can never pay, nor are we asked to pay it. In the history of the world, only a single sinless life was needed and that life was fully lived by Jesus the Christ, through Whom we can heal, by degrees, and eventually learn to love as He loves and become as He is.”

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